When Life Gives You Turquoise Hair Forget the Lemons

They say you should never grocery shop while you’re hungry. You come home with things that, when you look at them together do not create anything edible.

The AA batteries you’ve forgotten a million and a half times since you initially noticed you needed them. And chicken nuggets you could swear you needed but find, once you get home, there are three partially used bags in the freezer. Cocoa powder, a purple onion, feta cheese, and a bottle of your favorite red wine blend (14 Hands “Hot to Trot”), round out the list of the unusual.

When all you really needed was a lemon, which you forgot because a girl with striking turquoise hair walked through your line of sight.

And, of course, you did the most non-creepy thing of your life and stalked her through the store…learning her. You may have snapped a picture of three while eavesdropping on her plans for the evening and stuffing cocoa powder in your basket. Okay, so maybe you didn’t, but I did.

“But I have a legitimate excuse, officer!”

The stern look he gives is enough to shake lesser women. “And what’s that, Mrs. Henry?”

“Uh…erm…I’m a writer?”

Then the officer offers himself up for possible bodyguard duty in any of my future stalking adventures…

Or, at least this is how I pictured it happening as I studied the snapshots I’d stolen of Miss. Turquoise Hair.

Writing is right up there with being a spy, in more than one sense, apparently. Both are occupations that require seclusion of self, and at the same time, hinge on the existence of other people despite how much we try to avoid them. And we get to do cool things like stalk people in grocery stores.

All in the name of research, obviously.

Happy Reading. Happier Writing.

J

PS: Miss Turquoise Hair is currently doing the Tango with a plot and, yes, it involves lemon juice.